I look good on the outside but how am I on the inside?

"I look good on the outside but how am I on the inside?" An elderly man called uncle John would ask this question to the church frequently. We knew these words by heart and would chuckle each time he would say it.

However when I assess my life on this question I can honestly say that I have spent most of my life chasing the outward appearance - wearing trendy clothes, gyming and dieting, wanting affirmation from others. I think it's important to take care of your health, it's one of the things to do and not the only thing.

In the last one year, I have witnessed many of my friends lose their close relatives and I believe thinking about death has given me a better perspective on life. I am realising that life is brief and I need to learn to live it well. I also know that I am growing older. We are all racing against time and the truth is our outer self is wasting away. While taking care of health is important, however of greater value is the atmosphere we build in our hearts. Does it look good? Is my thought life good- does it reflect loving actions to others and self? Is it peaceful or is it envious? Is my heart filled with hatred for an enemy or love?

I am learning that we spend most of our lives chasing pleasures and insignificant things like outward beauty, greed etc. It is of no value. When I ask myself what do I consider beautiful- is it a pretty face of a model for example who has nothing to do with my life or my mum who is wrinkled and yet faithful and steadfast in her love? The answer is that I always have and will prefer love over external beauty. Yet I spend most of my time chasing the former. I know when I ask myself these difficult questions I can honestly say that I haven't arrived where I want to be in my desire to have a beautiful heart. I am learning each day to put my trust in Christ who is the ultimate Beauty cause of His unconditional love and grace. His Spirit gives me the hope in looking good on the inside by learning to love.

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