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Showing posts from 2020

Corporate Tyranny

They break us and continue to break us With hours unending With policies unfriendly Relentlessly breaking our soul Cries stream from within stifled by voices Comply it's the culture that's how things go But is that what we were taught as kids? I remember lessons on being brave for the cause of justice and more Think people with your mind and heart Do you wish to leave this as a legacy Your children to bear the burden of precedence you set to climb the corporate ladder By corrupting the system Little by little Hour by hour Soul by soul Finally, you got everything but did you gain your soul?

Holy!

 Recently I registered myself on matrimonial sites to see if I can find a potential match. Unfortunately, I saw few fake profiles and I felt unsafe so I deleted my account. This is a platform meant for people to feel safe so they can pursue a life partner, yet some people come with different agendas. It's called Holy matrimony for a reason. It was God's idea when He created Adam to give her Eve for it was not good for Him to be alone. Adam responded with joy, “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. Genesis 2:23‭-‬25 NLT He burst into beautiful poetry of praise. It's Holy because they became one. Despite the nakedness they felt no shame because they were united. God designed a perfect world,...

Longing for forever!

 Being in the lockdown, I have come to appreciate the stillness, something I am not used to. Life gets so busy and it's like a monotonous routine. I almost felt like a hamster on a wheel. This period of rest has enabled me to slow down and appreciate the things I wouldn't notice because of busyness such as the birds outside my window, the sounds of them chirping every morning. Moreover, me wondering and reflecting as I used to when I was a child, I was so easily amazed at what I was learning. Growing up I somehow lost that and I feel like God is bringing me back to that place where I can be in awe of Him. In one of my conversations with my dear friend I mentioned- " Do you ever wonder why we say best friends Forever or I love you Forever? You know it's not strange that we long for Forever cause it is God who created us with that longing. In Ecclesiastes 3:11 it's written: God has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of...

When you are forgiven much...

 We all like looking good. No one ever posts an ugly picture of themselves. We always dress pretty to look our best in the world. And I am guilty of all of these things. I have heard people say as long as you're not harming someone or if you do good things you're a good person. But I believe that this is far from the truth. We are deeper than the things we see. Our motivations, intentions and thoughts are visible to a God who is Holy and Righteous. If I was to be extremely honest I am nowhere close to being good before a Holy God. Being a Christian, makes me see the beauty of God in Christ who selflessly sacrificed His only Son as a payment for our sins. At the same time, there is a growing awareness of the selfishness of my heart, the constant need to control and have things my way. And the depth of wretchedness and sin rooted in my heart and the facade placed to cover these things with seemingly good acts.  I am glad that God is a loving Father who loves us so deeply that He...

Christ is All you Need!

 As some of you know I was made redundant and have been unemployed since July, I am writing this post to encourage you and especially myself while we are in this journey of transition together. I am thankful to God for His presence each day. His grace and fellowship every hour. There are times I would feel lost but the Holy Spirit through His word would remind me that He is my Provider and Sustainer and it's not a man or a company- these are means and not an end. Truly thankful for such a wonderful God who understands the depths of my thoughts, fears and worries and addresses them gently as a Father and secures my weak heart. He truly withheld no good thing from me. The reality is there are expenses each month. I am thankful for friends who have been there for me in this phase of my life and extended help and support in every way God enabled them to. Some ordered groceries, some helped financially without me reaching out to them, some sent job references, some checked on my emotion...

Delight in You!

Be my highest desire Lord May I delight in You alone The Eternal one My soul tends to cling to the earth that is fleeting Open my eyes to see Your Beauty  Help me understand Your Love and Sacrifice That I longed for all along This soul can only be satisfied in You My Creator God Not in the world that leaves me wanting more So let me treasure You only The length and breadth and depth of Your love Displayed on the cross of Calvary Where You gave Your all In love for me Came back to life and promised eternity  So may my roots grow deep in You By loving You with all of me I know You're worthy of my adoration and worship Faithful One who will never leave  If I hope in a man they will pass If I hope in my works it won't last  If I hope in things it will soon perish All my earthly gains are a loss Compared to the surpassing worth of knowing You Yes You are my greatest gain  So May I be found in You Make my heart a fertile ground to yield to You  May I be like a tr...

Heaven on Earth!

My most favourite prayer of all is the Lord's prayer. I learnt it when I was studying in a convent school. It has always remained with me. I would pray this frequently without fully understanding the meaning. Despite the darkness, I'm reminded of the words of Jesus when asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He replied to them by saying, The kingdom of God does not come with signs to be observed or with visible display, Nor will people say, Look! Here [it is]! or, See, [it is] there! For behold, the kingdom of God is within you [in your hearts] and among you [surrounding you]. So now when I pray the Lord's Prayer, I ask God by faith to fill me with His Holy Spirit. Jesus gladly embraced the cross which was the will of the Father to bring many sons and daughters into reconciliation. This was possible through His willful submission. And there on the cross in agony, Jesus said Father forgive them, a response of love from a Holy God towards sinful people. An...

Your heart will beat again!

Just 2 days before my birthday in 2016, the man whom I loved decided to tell me he doesn’t love me anymore. My heart was broken and the days that followed were excruciating. I would wake up and feel empty with no joy to get out of my bed. My hope was gone. I had no motivation to do things I once enjoyed. And then the Holy Spirit reminded me to pick up the cross and follow Christ. He encouraged me to live again and enjoy the gift of life. He spoke to me through a dear friend in a letter given to me on my birthday. She wrote- "Your heart will beat again!" I am a hopeful romantic. I believe in two imperfect people pursuing the perfect love of Christ. Yes, I'm still hopeful. The more I learn about God's love for me, the more I'm drawn to Him. I realize that everything in this world is dull in comparison to the selfless love of Christ. He relentlessly pursues my heart with an unceasing love even when I fail Him every day. He faithfully encourages me to live life every ...

What is true worship?

I remember asking God what is true worship? He reminded me of uncle Benny. The church was on the first floor with no lift and uncle Benny would attend church with crutches. He would stand with the help of his crutches during worship and sing God's praises aloud. Every time I think of his attitude during worship, it makes me forget my inadequacies. It makes me realise it's not about the performance, it's not about the instruments, it's not about the way you sing. Worship is about trusting God even when it doesn't make sense. I wonder if I were in uncle Benny's place would I worship God with one leg? Would I still praise God? I must admit I find it difficult to trust God let alone praise Him when things get hard, especially when things are taken away from me. One of the worship songs I find difficult is- "Blessed be your name" especially the part- "You give and take away, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say-Lord, blessed be Your name...

My Cinderella story

The word cinder means ashes and Ella means light or a beautiful woman. I imagine Cinderella as one who rises from darkness to light. Just like any fairy tale mine starts with once upon a time. Once upon a time, I moved to a new building. I was 5 then and I went out to play. The kids there didn't want to play with me, so I played by myself on my little cycle. Suddenly one boy came and pushed me and called me Kali (dark). I cried not because I was physically wounded but because I was rejected for being dark. Until then I never realised that I was different from others. This shook my confidence for most of my school life. Then as I grew older I was called fat because I was a big girl. Finally, when I started working I also started to work out so that I can be slim and people can approve me. It's quite tiring to live a life based on people's approval considering most people are superficial. They just do not see beyond what they see. Tired, I finally turned to God. I just wanted...

What does a spiritual parent look like?

I'm a visual learner- I learn by observing people and words alone aren't enough. I'm glad that I met Kenneth and Leena Masters (we fondly called them as Kenlen). Kenlen showed me what it looks like to honour God and love people. They invited people home and Leena would serve us amazing chai and snacks, whereas Ken would share his stories and testimonies of God's faithfulness. He was a man of faith and depended on God for everything. They made their home a haven for youngsters to hang out and enjoy Christian movies or simply share their burdens.  The event that impacted me the most was when a man called Bentu passed away on 24th December 2017. He had a wife and three children- Salomi, Rachel and Matthew. Kenlen helped and supported this family after their loss. They cared for the children as their own, being there for this family in their time of distress. Ken was teaching Bentu's daughters Salomi and Rachel to ride the bike and do everything for the kids like a fath...

Why God? Why me?

In one of the episodes of a series called Young Sheldon, the mother of a young boy named Sheldon struggles with her faith when she hears of a friend who lost her 16-year-old daughter. What I found interesting is that Sheldon who is 10 years old, loves science and calls himself an atheist comforts her. Paraphrasing Sheldon, he said that if the gravitational force was more or less than what it is then the earth would not exist. The precision of the gravitational force shows that there is a Creator. My finite mind can't wrap my head around God's infinite purposes. But listening to his logic made me look at my own life. Throughout my life, I have asked God the question I believe you all can relate to- Why God? Why me? I asked Him why am I in this situation when my parents were getting divorced. Why don't I have a normal life? While growing up my failures left me feeling very hopeless and I asked why am I like this? But looking back if these things didn't happen, if I was in...

How do I battle depression?

To give you a background about me, I come from a broken family and my parents were separated when I was young. I have always longed for love and that led me to some poor choices in relationships while I was growing up. So I have gone through rejection, abandonment, betrayal which led to despair, depression and a whole lot of negative emotions. And I can honestly say that everyday I fight these emotions as I tend to look back at the past or get anxious about the future.  The hope in my story is Christ. I am glad that these broken paths have led me to Him. All that my heart longed for is satisfied in Him. My soul rejoices knowing that God so loved us that He sent His only son Jesus to suffer and die on the cross and rise again on the third day so that through Him we can have eternal life. And because He came in flesh, He alone understands the depth of my pain and suffering giving me a sure hope that I too will rise again from these momentary afflictions. (For we do not have a High Pr...